Concerned Your Loved One May Have Dementia? Here’s What to Do Next

The nagging concern often starts when a parent or other loved one starts forgetting the simple things such as where the coffee is kept or how to navigate a familiar route to the grocery store. Or perhaps they begin asking the same questions over and over again. At some point it becomes harder to ignore. Could it be Alzheimer’s? What to do next? It’s a scary thought. So, all too often the nagging doubt continues to be pushed aside.

While hesitating to act is certainly understandable, it is also the reason why so many individuals are not diagnosed until they are well into the disease. And early detection could bring them several advantages. Medications are more effective in the early stages of dementia. There are more opportunities to participate in clinical trials. And there could be more time to organize financial and legal plans.

If you have a family member whom you suspect may be developing dementia, here are some important steps to take to turn your concerns into positive actions.

First, know the ten signs of dementia, summarized below (read full descriptions from the Alzheimer’s Association here):

1. Memory changes that affect day-to-day activities, such as struggling to retain new information.
2. Difficulty doing familiar tasks, such as preparing a meal.
3. Changes in communication, such as forgetting words or the names of common objects.
4. Disorientation in time and place, such as forgetting the day of the week or the route home.
5. Impaired judgement, such as not recognizing a health or safety risk.
6. Problems with abstract thinking, such as not understanding what numbers or symbols mean.
7. Misplacing things, such as putting something in a drawer that should be in the refrigerator.
8. Changes in mood, personality, or behavior, such as becoming agitated or suspicious for no apparent reason.
9. Loss of initiative, such as losing interest in favorite activities or friends.
10. Challenges with visual or spatial information, such as navigating around a familiar area.

Take notes of behavior from your loved one that lies outside their “norm”. Include as many details as possible. Dr. Tam Cummings, gerontologist and dementia expert has tools to help you evaluate your loved one’s behavior. The ones to focus on are:

• • Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool
  • Briston ADL Test
  • IQ on cognitive decline
  • Brief psychiatric rating scale

You can access these tools here.

Discuss your concerns with your loved one. This can be challenging, so find a time when you are both relaxed, and you have time. Don’t rush this conversation. Refrain from using authoritative phrases such as “I think you need to” or “You’re forgetting things”. There is no need to mention Alzheimer’s or dementia at this point. Instead use phrases such as “I thought I noticed that you were having a hard time remembering…”. Then, cap off each statement with “What do you think?” And stop to listen. You may find that he or she is relieved to be able to talk about their memory lapses.

Share your concerns with family members. Getting their support early on is important for the journey you may be facing ahead.

Arrange for testing through your loved one’s physician. If you have taken notes based on use of diagnostic tools, such as those provided by Dr. Tam Cummings, be sure to send your notes to the doctor in advance of the appointment. The doctor will conduct some preliminary tests and can arrange for a more extensive exam. Medicare will cover these costs.

Familiarize yourself with the latest research and treatments for Alzheimer’s disease. Do this for your own benefit as well as for any conversations you have with your loved one and other family members. The more informed you are, the more help you will be to yourself and others. Our Anthem Memory Care resource page contains information, webinars, and links to a variety of additional resources.

Begin with knowledge and facts on your side.

If your loved one does receive a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, taking the steps on this list will help arm you for your discussions with your loved one, your family, and physicians. And taking action will give you a greater sense of resolve and control, both of which will be helpful for the days ahead.    

Of course, nothing can truly prepare us for something as daunting as an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. But if and when one is given to your loved one, being prepared will make a big difference.

We invite you to reach out to any of our Anthem Memory Care communities with questions and concerns. We will be happy to answer your questions and help you find additional resources.