For those caring for a parent with dementia, having a strong support system is crucial. No one should bear the burden of caregiving alone. So, most adult children turn to siblings or other close family relatives for advice, understanding and support. And, while it may get off to a good start, as the months pass, well-intending relatives, busy with their own lives, can fall back into old patterns, leaving the adult child basically on his or her own.
If this sounds like your situation, first, take a deep breath and understand that, in most cases, this is unintentional. We’ve often found that, after encouraging sons or daughters to reconnect with family members, their hard-to-reach sister or brother will say things like “Oh I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been hard to reach. Let me help!” and other similar acts of contrition.
Here are some ways to get family members “back in your orbit” and to help you remain reconnected. You can find additional suggestions through the Alzheimer’s Association, here.
Keep in mind that it’s easy for family members to gravitate towards a “status quo” of inaction. Try to put yourself in their place. They may not know how to help or may be up to their ears in their own family issues or work challenges. Furthermore, if you are considered the “rock” of the family, they have probably made an assumption that you are able to handle everything as you have always done in the past. Now is the time to reach out and reaffirm their commitment to your family loved one. With better communication, a plan to keep them more involved and a commitment to yourself to get outside help, your relationships with your siblings and your parent will be healthier. And so will you!