
Families of loved ones with dementia often feel confused and overwhelmed as they struggle to comprehend that memory lapses, unpredictable behaviors, and personality changes are not things that can be controlled; they are the result of physical damage to the brain’s neurons.
If you have a family member diagnosed with dementia, gaining deeper insight into the many changes to their brain related to dementia can help you more successfully make the transition from confusion and frustration to understanding and acceptance. By adjusting your perspective, you can adapt how you communicate and anticipate your loved one’s needs, while reducing your own stress levels.
What are these changes to the brain that occur with dementia?
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) describes dementia as the destruction of neurons and the connections between them, resulting in brain shrinkage and declining cognitive function. This process is driven in part by the buildup of abnormal proteins, such as amyloid plaques and tau tangles, which interfere with communication between brain cells, trigger chronic inflammation, and disrupt healthy blood flow.
Key brain changes include:
How does the progression of dementia impact these brain changes?
The Mayo Clinic describes damage to the brain as it relates to the stages of dementia summarized as follows:
Of course, understanding the clinical aspects of dementia is one thing; the real challenge lies in absorbing those changes and adapting to them over time. It’s natural to misinterpret or take personally the behaviors of a loved one with dementia, especially when this is someone you have known so well and who has long been an integral part of your life. Adjusting how you interpret these changes, and how you respond to them, takes time and intention.
Be patient—with yourself, your loved one, and your entire family. You are all navigating unfamiliar territory. It may help to work with a therapist who specializes in dementia, or to join a dementia support group where you can share your experiences and connect with others in similar situations.
Above all, remember that your loved one did not choose dementia. They did not choose memory loss or behavioral changes. These shifts are not anyone’s fault. They are the result of a complex brain disease. Gaining a clearer understanding of what is happening in the brain at each stage can ease frustration, reduce stress, and help you respond with greater patience and compassion. In turn, this understanding will profoundly shape how you and your family experience this challenging journey together.