Making the Holidays Less Stressful and More Meaningful

The holidays always seem to come and go so quickly. One minute we’re sitting down to a Thanksgiving dinner and the next thing we know, we’re toasting the New Year. It often seems like more time is spent hustling back and forth and preparing for get-togethers than spending quality time connecting with loved ones.

For family caregivers of loved ones with dementia, there is an added layer of stress to the holidays. Will mom be able to tolerate a two-hour car ride to our family celebration? Will dad remember his favorite niece? How will we navigate around all the noise and excitement as the grandchildren open presents?

All these concerns can create anxiety for caregivers and their families. It’s supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy holiday traditions. But for too many family caregivers, the holidays have become something to “get through” rather than something to “look forward to”.

How can you change the holiday dynamics to produce less stress and bring more joy?

If you are caring for a loved one with dementia and are starting to feel stress over your holiday plans, it’s time to take a deep breath and know that you have more control over the holidays than you might think. Here are some tips to help minimize stress for you and your loved one and help foster more moments of joy for the entire family.

• Practice saying “no.” If you tend to accept every invitation, even casual coffee meetups with friends, learning to politely, but firmly decline can help you better manage your day and protect your loved one’s routine.
• Be selective. When you do say “yes”, set your terms carefully. For example, if a gathering begins at 6 p.m., consider whether the timing, duration, or environment truly works for you and your loved one. You might suggest coming early with your loved one and staying for a couple hours. That way you are not walking into a crowded, noisy event already in full swing.
• Remain flexible. Holiday traditions may look different now. Try to avoid being too rigid in your plans. Be aware of your loved one’s emotional state of mind, and yours too! It’s okay to make last minute adjustments. Maybe a relaxing afternoon at home watching a holiday movie makes more sense than fighting traffic to go out to dinner. Recognizing this and embracing new approaches can help reduce stress and create more meaningful, manageable moments.
• Prepare family and friends in advance. For family get-togethers, this is important, especially for those who may not have seen your loved one for quite some time. Explain to them where your loved one is in their journey and their cognitive limitations. Share with them a few tips to make their interactions easier and more meaningful.
• Create new special moments. As you begin to re-engineer the holidays think about creating some new traditions that might include time spent sharing family photos, an afternoon watching old family videos, a sing-along to traditional favorite songs, or cooking a family favorite meal which everyone helps prepare.
• Use your resources. At some point during the holidays, you will need some time to yourself to unwind and recharge. Reach out to trusted family members and friends who offer to help. Take a break to steady your mind and restore your equilibrium. Even a few hours can make a big difference.

While the above steps may seem challenging, the preparation and adjustments you make will be rewarded with more relaxed and enjoyable holiday events and get-togethers. Your loved one will more likely be at their best, unrushed and relaxed. Your family will connect with them more easily and you will be more relaxed and able to enjoy the moment.

Even with planning, there may be moments when you begin to feel overwhelmed. That’s when it’s time to pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it’s okay to set boundaries. Simplifying traditions, scaling back commitments, and focusing on what truly matters can transform the season into something more peaceful and meaningful. By choosing what works best for you and your loved one, you create space for less stress and more space for genuine joy.

We also invite you to call or drop in to any of our Anthem Memory Care communities for more tips and resources. We want your holiday experience to be positive, inclusive, and joyful … for the whole family.