For those who live alone and struggle with dementia, each day can bring an increased sense of isolation and disconnectedness from the world around them. Their cognitive decline along with physical impairments, keep them from articulating their needs, let alone reaching out for help. The result can be a reduced quality of life.

An AARP study a few years ago, looked at adults 50+ who were living in isolated situations and how it impacted the quality of their lives, socially, psychologically and physically. The risks associated with isolation included things like living alone, psychological or cognitive vulnerabilities, having a small social network, little to no social support and lack of access to the benefits of the greater community around them.

The study also found, however, that a change in environment and level of engagement can provide the needed socialization and care to positively impact quality of life. In some cases, this can be achieved by simply moving the individual closer to family members, where they can be included in family gatherings on a regular basis.

When an individual has dementia, however, an effective solution can be memory care communities, where the environment is specifically organized around individuals with memory loss and cognitive issues. These communities are known to be beneficial in the following ways:

• Reduce loneliness and/or depression
• Increase the size of the individual’s social network
• Improve the quality of support and care
• Increase the frequency of social contact

At our Anthem Memory Care communities, we understand the devastating impact isolation has on individuals with dementia. That is why our programs include daily socialization for all our residents. We know that regular interactions with other residents and our caregivers help them better connect in a more meaningful way.

We also understand the challenges of families who want to do the right thing for a loved one but often lack the resources and support to take the first step. If you find yourself struggling with “doing the right thing” for your mom or dad, we encourage you to think about enrolling in a dementia support group where you can share your experiences and concerns with others and get the valuable support of trained facilitators, all of whom have first-hand experience with dementia. Please also feel free to make use of our resources to help you get the information you need to make the best decisions for your loved one.

Chelsea Place Memory Care in Aurora, Colorado, has the good fortune to have among their staff, several caregivers of Ethiopian decent. These marvelous women take great pride in caring for residents and can usually be seen smiling and working quietly to assist residents with their daily activities.

Recently, however, these women took center stage in a celebration of their rich culture, including costumes, music, delicious food and aromatic Ethiopian coffee.

The event was a resounding success, drawing many of the families of residents and staff, all eager to experience the ceremony and enjoy the taste of authentic African cuisine and beverages.

What made the event even more special was that it gave all the participants the ability to celebrate a culture that many will never experience firsthand. “I am so happy, first of all, to present my country’s ceremony, showing respect for the people at Chelsea Place, and in turn their respect for us,” said Tegest Semegn, one of the caregivers who facilitated the ceremony.

The ceremony opened with the roasting of green coffee beans and presentation of the roasted beans with their rich aroma to the assembled guests. Then the beans were slowly ground, steeping them in a pot, adding ice water and bringing them to a boil. While the coffee was brewing, Tegest Semegn, Beza Gebretsadik, Rachel Walube and others shared personal memories and traditions of the Ethiopian culture, even including a short lesson in Amharic, the language of Ethiopia. While they listened, the audience also enjoyed snacking on ceremonial food, including fresh popcorn, samosas and berbere bread.

The event was enjoyed, not only by the residents and their families, but by the caregivers themselves. “It makes me so happy to see residents drink our coffee and eat our food” said Beza Gebretsadik, as she watched the staff and residents sip coffee from beautiful Ethiopian china cups.

“I love the coffee ceremony,” said Mary Wambirio, a caregiver from Kenya. “Things like this make you feel good, like you are appreciated,” added Rachel, another caregiver who is from Uganda. “Such events bring everyone together to prepare, and it shows the commitment among us. Everyone comes together every day to care for the residents,” she added. “It is the African spirit.”

At Anthem Memory Care communities, we believe in providing care and compassion for residents as well as our dedicated, talented caregivers. We celebrate the unique backgrounds of all who come through our doors, residents and caregivers alike, and will always look for ways to bring their history and talents to life. We believe it is moments like these that keep our communities vibrant and full of life.

 Related Articles:

• Chelsea Place Memory Care Honors Resident and WWII Veteran
• Students Bring Smiles (and so much more) to Chelsea Place Residents!

One of the questions family caregivers often ask after they have made a memory care decision for a parent is “But can she afford it?”

That can be a challenging question for some, due to a general lack of visibility into a parent’s financial situation. That’s why it’s important to gain a better understanding of his or her resources as you move forward. The more you know, the better prepared you will be to identify the best payment strategy for your loved one. Here are some common sources used by families to financially support residence in a memory care community:

• Long-term care insurance: This will generally cover a portion of a resident’s stay in a memory care community. Coverage is highly customized, however, so you’ll need to check with your provider to determine the breadth of coverage.
• Secured Lines of Credit: Securing a line of credit can be arranged through your bank. It’s actually similar to a bank account. However, instead of making deposits, you borrow money against it. You can use it to pay for memory care services without having to renegotiate terms.
• Aid and Attendance (veterans): If your loved one (or his/her spouse) is a veteran, there is financial aid available to them. Depending on their particular policy it may help pay a portion of the cost for memory care. You can learn more about these programs at www.veteranaid.org.
• Reverse Mortgage: We’re hearing more and more about reverse mortgages these days as baby boomers age and seek additional sources of cash flow in their twilight years. It is a way to use the equity in your home to generate a monthly income. While it is a loan, repayment is deferred until the home is sold, the owner moves out or passes away. However, as long as a memory care resident still has a spouse living at home, they should be still be able to use a reverse mortgage to help pay the memory care cost.
• Life Insurance: There may be an opportunity to liquidate your loved one’s life insurance policy to help fund the costs of memory care. It is often preferable for those who want to keep other income sources intact.

You can read more about the above funding sources here.

We want you to know that we are here to help as well. Anthem Memory Care professionals have an in-depth understanding of financial resources and how residents use them to support their stay in our communities. We can help you untangle the confusing process of reviewing and executing the many forms needed by your insurance provider.

We welcome you to contact us so that we can help you evaluate your situation and financial options.

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• Why is Memory Care a Better Environment for Mom?
• Worried About Mom or Dad After Your Holiday Visit?

Summer is officially here! That means warmer weather, longer days and, for most of us, enjoyable family gatherings, picnics, barbecues and vacations. If you have a parent with dementia, you may have a tendency to exclude them from many of your festivities. It’s a natural reaction, as you are concerned about their well being and want to avoid any unnecessary anxiety or safety risks.

While safety and health are important, you may be able to enjoy more time together with mom or dad than you think you can. By planning in advance and taking time to prepare them, they can participate in outings and family gatherings.

Here are some tips and ideas to help make it easier to include mom or dad in more of your summer activities.

Keep them cool and comfortable:

• Sun exposure can be dangerous. Make sure you apply sunscreen to exposed skin. Sunglasses, hats and visors are good ways to keep sun off the face and out of the eyes.
• Have them dress lightly. Encourage clothing that is comfortable and lightweight.
• Stay hydrated. Always have a glass or bottle of water handy and make sure that your mom or dad is drinking regularly.

Plan enjoyable activities and prepare in advance.

• Avoid crowds and events with loud noises. That includes fireworks, which can be particularly unsettling for someone with dementia.
• If your loved one has always enjoyed a nice swim, they can continue to cool off in the pool. However, never let them go unsupervised. Make sure someone is there in the water with them and that they are always able to quickly exit the pool if necessary.
• Gardening in warm weather can be fun and therapeutic. Try to keep your gardening activities to morning hours to avoid exposure to afternoon sun. Make sure that no sharp tools, such as garden shears are left nearby without supervision. Also make sure that fertilizers are kept hidden so as to avoid accidental swallowing.
• Family gatherings are fun but can be noisy and, therefore, cause added anxiety to someone with dementia. Make sure your loved one has a quiet resting place to sit where individual family members and friends can visit for short periods of time.
• Vacations in unfamiliar surroundings can also cause anxiety for those struggling with dementia. You must decide if the benefits outweigh the potential negatives. You may want to consider short-term “respite” care for your loved one to enable you and your family to relax without worry. It also gives your loved one an opportunity to see, first hand, what a memory care community is like.

Summer can be a fun, relaxing time for family, friends and, yes, also for your loved one with dementia. Try to include mom or dad whenever possible. By taking some precautions and making some adjustments, they, too, can continue to enjoy these lovely summer days.

This is an unsettling question to have to answer. As we watch our parents age, it’s tempting to dismiss his or her increasing forgetfulness as part of “getting old”. Yet, inside, the questioning continues to gnaw away. “Is it just age-related, or are these early signs of a dementia, such as Alzheimer’s?”   

To help answer that unsettling question, the Alzheimer’s Association has published a list of the 10 warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease. Here is a summary of the warning signs. You will want to read the full descriptions from the Alzheimer’s Association, which you can access here.

1. Memory loss that disrupts daily life. Forgetting important dates or needing to increasingly rely on reminder notes or family members. Age-related changes would involve sometimes forgetting names or dates but remembering them later.
2. Challenges in planning or solving problems. Having to concentrate harder to follow a simple plan or keep track of bills. May not be able to follow a simple recipe. Age-related changes would involve making occasional errors, such as balancing a checkbook.
3. Difficulty completing familiar tasks at home, work or leisure. Having trouble driving to a familiar place or remembering the rules of a favorite game. Age-related changes would include occasionally needing help recording a TV show or using the settings on your microwave.
4. Confusion with time or place. Losing track of dates, seasons and the passage of time. Age-related changes would include getting confused as to the day of the week but figuring it out later.
5. Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships. Experiencing vision and spatial issues, which cause difficulty in reading or judging distance, colors and contrast. Age-related changes would involve vision issues due to cataracts or macular degeneration.
6. New problems with words in speaking or writing. Having trouble following or joining in a conversation. They may repeat themselves over and over again. They may forget common words and substitute other words, such as calling a “watch” a “hand clock”. Age-related changes would involve occasionally having trouble finding the right word.
7. Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps. Putting things in unusual places. May lose something and not be able to retrace steps to find it. Age-related changes would include misplacing things occasionally and retracing steps to find it.
8. Decreased or poor judgement. Becoming irresponsible and confused dealing with money. They may pay less attention to daily grooming. Age-related changes would include an occasional bad decision.
9. Withdrawal from work or social activities. Removing themselves from favorite hobbies or social activities because they can no longer understand them or keep up. Age-related changes would include feeling weary of work, social obligations.
10. Changes in mood and personality. Becoming more confused, suspicious, and/or easily upset with friends and family. Age-related changes would include becoming irritable when a routine is disrupted.

If you notice any of the above warning signs, your next step would be to contact your loved one’s doctor for an assessment. It may or may not be dementia. However, the earlier the diagnosis is made, the better. While there is no cure yet, there are medications available that can slow the progression of the disease.

It is important to know that, should your loved one be diagnosed with dementia, there are resources and support groups available to help. Don’t give up. You are not alone!

Those with loved ones who have Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia often tell us about their frustration when a mom or dad seems to suddenly become agitated for no apparent reason. And, while there is always a reason, it is often not readily apparent to those around them.

At Anthem Memory Care communities, we understand how a sudden onset of anxiety can unnerve caregivers, leaving them wondering “What happened? What did I do?”

First of all, realize that you may not have done anything at all to bring on your mom or dad’s anxiety. Often environmental stimuli that healthy brains quickly process and move beyond can be overwhelming to someone with dementia. As the brain loses key processing capabilities, a situation or even a sound, smell or visual stimuli seem threatening. Changes in their environment, such as a recent move or change in caregiver can create a constant state of underlying anxiety, which certain triggers can quickly bring to the surface.

Here are some tips we have used and that are also recommended by the Alzheimer’s Association to help calm that sudden storm of anxiety from a loved one with dementia:

1. Listen. Ask why they are agitated. But do so in a calm way. Then listen to what they have to say. It may be something that is relatively easy to handle.
2. Be reassuring. Try saying something like “I’m sorry that you’re upset.” Or “I am here with you. I’ll stay until you feel better.”
3. Monitor and modify your own behavior. It is so easy (and understandable) to lose control yourself. Stop and check your voice level and your demeanor. The calmer you remain, the more likely the period of agitation will pass.
4. Decrease unnecessary stimuli. Are people coming and going? Are there extraneous noises that can be muted by closing a door? Look around and try to remove anything or anyone who may be fueling the anxiety.
5. Divert attention away from anxiety. Finally, as your loved one shows signs of calming down, transition to something you know they like to do. Look at some photos, listen to soothing music, or even take a walk if your loved one seems restless. Light physical activity can act as a release for pent up frustration and energy.

Of course it is so important to seek support from both family, close friends and local dementia support groups. They provide a valuable outlet for families to share their concerns with others in similar situations. Anthem Memory Care communities have monthly support groups, conducted by experienced professionals.

Resist the temptation to blame yourself, your loved one, or others around you for these anxiety surges. Focus on reassuring your loved one (and yourself) that this episode will pass and that you will see it through together.

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Isn’t it invigorating to take a walk outdoors and feel the sun on your shoulders and a gentle breeze on your face? When you come back indoors, don’t you feel more refreshed and energized? That’s because there is a heightened alertness that comes with activating all your senses through nature. This feeling of wellbeing can also be experienced by your loved one with dementia. And it can make a positive difference in their day-to-day quality of life.

Time spent outdoors on a nice day can reduce anxiety and the sense of isolation.

Numerous studies conducted over the last twenty years all point to the advantages of fresh air, sunlight and natural settings for those struggling with dementia. It may seem like common knowledge, but the advantages are very real. A few key benefits include:

• Improved oxygen and blood flow to the brain, which can increase awareness.
• Direct sunlight, which can improve mood and enable healthier sleep patterns.
• Natural stimulation of the senses, which can reduce anxiety and restlessness.
• Change in environmental surroundings, which can decrease the sense of isolation.

Having convenient access to the outdoors is so important for your loved one with dementia.

At Anthem Memory Care, our communities are designed to provide unlimited opportunities for our residents to explore the outdoors. Our outdoor areas have been strategically placed centrally, where residents can feel free to walk indoors and out without the fear of becoming lost or walking beyond safe boundaries. The families of our residents often remark on what a difference this makes to their health and sense of connectedness to those around them.

Without doubt, spending time outdoors on a beautiful day benefits all of us. Even if your mom or dad has never been known as an “outdoor person”, this is a time in their lives when walking or sitting in a garden setting can really make a difference. Try to find opportunities to take your loved one outdoors regularly. Find a safe place in the backyard for them to sit and enjoy the natural setting. And join them! The change in environment and gentle stimulation of the senses will lift both of your spirits.

Captain Rob Firmes of the Murrieta, California Police Department, now has a much better understanding of the challenges experienced by his grandmother who struggles with dementia.

On May 16^th, Captain Firmes along with two other officers, took Vineyard Place Memory Care up on their offer to help them experience, first hand, a taste of what it’s like to be challenged by dementia. Captain Firmes’ grandmother is a resident at Vineyard Place, and he wanted to gain a deeper appreciation of what she goes through every day.

While nothing can come close to replicating the devastation of living with dementia, Vineyard Memory Care did its best to try by providing a pretty challenging environment for the police officers. On hand to help was Jodi Cornman, Community Relations Director for Highline Place Memory Care in Littleton, Colorado. Both Highline Place and Vineyard Place are Anthem Memory Care communities. The event was also covered by the Press-Enterprise as well as local KABC/Channel 7.  

To give officers a taste of what memory care residents experience every day, each was given heavy gloves to wear to impair hand movement. They were also given special glasses that blurred their vision. Spikey inserts in their shoes emulated the foot pain of peripheral neuropathy and ear phones with a loud cacophony of sounds made it difficult to hear and understand verbal communication.

Once they were outfitted with their various devices, the officers were given instructions to conduct a variety of tasks including counting out change, setting a table and folding laundry. Needless to say, the experience was eye opening for the officers. When Officer Firmes was asked by a reporter for the Press-Enterprise how it felt, he responded “It’s disorienting. Big time!”

These virtual reality sessions are conducted Anthem Memory Care communities to give those who work with individuals with dementia, as well as families of residents, a better understanding of the challenges associated with doing things we all take for granted. They have proven to be very effective in developing a stronger appreciation for the impairments that come with this devastating disease. Along with that appreciation comes an added degree of patience and understanding, both of which are so important to the support and care of our loved ones with dementia.

Photo Credit: Frank Bellino, contributing photographer for the Press-Enterprise. (Image has been cropped to fit.)

Were you able to visit your mom on Mother’s Day? How did it go? Did you walk away feeling good about the visit? Or did you walk away feeling worried? If your mom is struggling with dementia, visits can be anxiety producing, especially if you live out of town and are not able to visit as frequently as you’d like.

If this is your situation, you need to make the most of each visit, not only to share valuable time together, but also to keep tabs on your mom’s overall health as well as the level of her cognitive decline. And, equally important is to take time right after each visit to jot down notes about your observations, while they are still fresh in your mind.

Here are some things to look for, observe and take note of when you visit mom:

Demeanor:

• Did she have more difficulty remembering you and other relatives?
• Did she have more difficulty responding to questions than she normally does?
• Did she seem more fearful or anxious than usual?
• Did she become uncharacteristically combative?

Personal appearance:

• Was her appearance less neat and tidy than normal?
• Did she appear to have bathed within the last couple of days?

Home/apartment appearance:

• Were her surroundings more cluttered and/or disorganized than usual?
• Was there old food sitting out on the counters or table tops?
• Were there spills left on the floors or table tops?
• Were there signs that she was leaving doors unlatched or trash cans overflowing?

As important as your answers to the above questions are, what your gut tells you may be the most accurate assessment of all. If you had that feeling that “mom isn’t doing too well” after you left, it’s time to take some steps towards ensuring her safety and getting her the level and type of help she needs.

First, share your notes and observations with your family members. Make sure that you have a Power of Attorney to enable you to make decisions on your mom’s behalf. This is also a good time to begin looking into care options and decide whether it makes more sense to hire a caregiver for at home care or transition her to a local memory care community.

Above all, however, it’s important to understand that her living conditions will not improve as long as she continues to attempt to care for herself at home. Dementia, after all, is not a disease that goes into remission. By taking steps now, however, you will not only be doing right by your mom, but you will have far less worry and greater peace of mind.

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When young people come together with seniors, great things happen. For six months, starting in December of 2017, students from Denver’s Martin Luther King Jr. Early College visited regularly with the residents of Chelsea Place Memory Care in Aurora, Colorado. What did they do? Perhaps a better question would be, what didn’t they do? The students joined with residents to participate in painting classes, drumming circles and lots of other fun activities that encouraged interaction and brought lots of smiles. The students even made short videos, in which they interviewed the residents as they shared bits and pieces of their life stories!

This program was the result of a partnership between Chelsea Memory Care and Denver-based Bessie’s Hope, an organization that seeks to enhance the quality of life for long-term care residents by bringing generations together. Bessie’s hope has helped foster many positive experiences for both seniors and children throughout the greater Denver area. Chelsea Place is no exception.

Why do Anthem Memory Care communities, such as Chelsea Place, encourage inter-generational activities? In addition to being fun for everyone, the process of engaging with younger people is known to be beneficial for those challenged by dementia. An article in verywell.com, written by Esther Heerema, MSW, cites research studies that point to the positive impact of inter-generational activities.

For instance, they have found that when adults with dementia have opportunities to teach simple tasks to children (such as dusting, folding towels, etc.) it provides them with a heightened sense of purpose. This “sense of purpose” is key to keeping them more connected, in positive ways, to those around them. Research also shows that there are fewer behavioral issues experienced by individuals with dementia when they interact regularly with younger adults and children.

If you are caring for someone with dementia, try to seek opportunities to bring them together with young people. Make sure you keep the visits brief and that you monitor your loved one for signs that he or she is tiring and adjust accordingly. You may be surprised at how positive the reaction from both parties can be. Establishing a habit of regular visits in a calm, nurturing environment can bring long-lasting benefits.

Chances are, at some point in your life, you’ve fallen for a scam of some sort, leaving you thinking “I know I shouldn’t have given out my ID and password,” or something similar. Older individuals, especially those challenged by dementia, are even more vulnerable. That’s why safeguarding your parent with dementia from scams is so important.  

Here are the current top three scams targeting older adults, identified by the Fraud Hotline U.S. Special Committee on Aging:

1. Robocalls: These often take the form of investment “opportunities” that require one to “act fast”. Even if you have signed you parent up for the Do Not Call registry, they are still likely to receive some of these calls. Over half the victims are 70+ years old, according to a 2017 AARP survey. Thankfully, there’s help. Experts recommend signing up your parent with Nomorobo, a free service which blocks robocalls. If the perpetrator is on their list, they can set the calls to terminate after one ring.
2. Lottery scams: How many times have you gotten calls stating that “You have won a free gift”? Most of us ignore them and block the number. For an older adult challenged by dementia, however, the decision process isn’t as clear. If they do respond, they will be asked to pay a “small fee” to continue to be in the running for the gift. Your loved one will be pestered by ongoing calls, all with the purpose of extorting more money from them. Here’s what experts recommend. When this happens, go to the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) website and report the scam. Should the same scam come in the form of a prize in the mail, contact the U.S. Postal Inspection Service website.
3. “IRS” calls: This scam has managed to hoodwink more folks than you’d probably guess. Your loved one will receive a recorded message telling them that they are in trouble with the IRS for back taxes and penalties. They even dangle the threat of arrest, if he or she doesn’t call a special number to make a payment. According to research, over 12,300 U.S. citizens ($64 million dollars lost) have fallen for this dangerous scam. You can report these criminals by filling out an IRS Impersonation Scam form which you can access here. 

Of course, these are not the only scams; new ones emerge almost every day. That’s why it’s a good idea to pre-program your parent’s phone to identify legitimate incoming callers. You can instruct them not to answer any call from a party they don’t recognize.

Every year scam criminals extort millions of dollars from unsuspecting seniors. By being proactive and informed, you can help keep your loved one (and yourself!) from becoming one of them.

Source for data cited in this blog: NextAvenue/What to Do if Your Parent Gets Scammed, written by Richard Eisenberg

 Related Articles:

• The Legal Side of Caring for a Parent with Dementia: What Families Need to Know
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For most of us, going out to lunch with a friend or family member is a relaxing, enjoyable event. Instead of cooking and fussing over table settings, you are waited on in a pleasant environment. You take your time with the menu selections while you spend time “catching up” with each other. Perhaps you used to enjoy doing this with your mom or dad, back before he or she began to show symptoms of dementia. Yet, with the transition to caregiver, you may have become more hesitant to keep up the tradition, not knowing if your parent might become anxious or even act out in an inappropriate way. So you continue to opt not to take the risk.

It’s understandable. After a diagnosis of a dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, it can become more challenging to take a loved one out in public places, especially to restaurants where the slightest issue can become magnified in a new setting with strangers around.

With a little foresight and preparation, however, you may be able to get your lunch date back on track. Here are some tips that are known to have helped others:

• Choose a familiar restaurant. This assumes of course that it is one with a casual dining style with easy access to a comfortable booth or table. Some restaurants are more “senior friendly” than others. Seek them out.
• Make a reservation for a weekday, either before or after the lunch rush. You will not only avoid a longer wait time, but chances are your food will arrive more quickly. A short outing will be better tolerated and less tiring for both of you.
• Weather permitting, try to sit outdoors. Sunlight and a gentle breeze can have a soothing and overall healthy effect on all of us.
• Sit near a bathroom, if possible. Why navigate among a sea of tables and chairs with dad if you don’t have to?
• Keep the conversation going. Long lulls in the conversation can confuse an individual with dementia and lead to anxiety. Try reading off the various menu items and asking which ones your mom likes and which ones she doesn’t. Keep it lighthearted and explore opportunities for humor.  

By following the above guidelines, you can give your loved one an opportunity to get out and socialize with others, something that is so important for those challenged by dementia. Keeping your outings short and pleasant will encourage more of them, along with an opportunity to keep your loved one more connected to you and to the world around them.

As you know, caring for a mom or dad with dementia is a challenging journey with many twists and turns. There are days when you may feel you are not doing as much as you think you should. And, there are probably moments when you wish you had found out more about a certain medication or other issue before you left the doctor’s office.

Having a doctor who is a true partner and whom you trust, can be an immense help on that challenging journey. Doctors, however, have other patients to serve as well. You are but one of many, so you need to make the most of the time you have.

Here are some key questions to ask during doctor visits with your mom or dad. Often, in a rush to get through the appointment, they can slip through the cracks:

• What stage of dementia is my mom/dad experiencing now?
• What should I be prepared for during this stage?
• What are our goals for this stage and what are the treatment options?
• Which option do you think best fills her needs and why?
• What does each medication do? How long before each takes effect?
• How do these medications interact with others, such as blood pressure, etc.?
• Are there any side effects we should look out for? What should we do if one occurs?
• How long before you anticipate a change in medications?
• How can we reach you if there is a problem?
• Plus, any other questions you may have that are more specific to your parent’s unique situation.

Above all, be prepared. Make sure you jot down your questions and concerns in advance. This will save time and give you more quality time with the doctor to get the questions answered completely. Listen carefully and take notes. You may even want to take a small recorder with you and ask if you can record his or her responses. These visits can be stressful. Having a recording of what was said can be a lifesaver later on, should you forget something or not understand your own notes! Furthermore, you can share the recording with another family member who needs to know as well.

The better prepared you are, the calmer you will be during these visits. The truth is, that if you treat your loved one’s doctor as a trusted partner, he or she will be more responsive and take more time with you. This will make a big difference in your relationship with your doctor and help you feel better able to care for your loved one.

 Related Articles:

• Alzheimer’s Life Expectancy: How Long Will Mom Live?
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If you are the son or daughter of a loved one with Alzheimer’s, chances are you’ve already accumulated a good amount of information about the disease; what it is, who it affects, how is it contracted, and so on. And, given the abundance of studies (some more reputable than others), you may have also read stories of potential miracle “cures” for the disease.

It is important to be able to separate truth from myth, especially as you embark on this challenging journey with your loved one. Well-meaning relatives and friends may be quick to offer various opinions and interpretations about something they recently read or heard about causes and cures for Alzheimer’s. That is why it is important to identify established resources you can trust. The Alzheimer’s Association has published many articles on Alzheimer’s and topics related to the disease.  

Here are 4 common misconceptions, taken from Alz.org as well as other trusted sources, that are important to understand and share with those around you.

1. Alzheimer’s is a disease of the elderly. While it is true that Alzheimer’s disease is more common among those aged 65 or older, there are hundreds of thousands of cases of Alzheimer’s reported in people in their thirties, forties and fifties.
2. Alzheimer’s can be caused by flu shots, silver fillings, aspartame, or aluminum (and this list may grow in time). Over the years, research has led to many unfounded reports which purport to link the exposure to various substances to the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. None have been proven.
3. Alzheimer’s disease is not fatal. Unfortunately, Alzheimer’s is a fatal disease. It not only affects memory but is also a physically debilitating disease which ultimately destroys brain cells to the extent of loss of bodily functions.
4. There are treatments available to slow or stop the progression of Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately, there is no medication or procedure that is proven to slow or stop the progression of Alzheimer’s. On the bright side, thanks to extensive research being conducted and growing support for finding a cure, we have great hope that we may one day be able to remove this item from the list.  

As you conduct your own research to better educate yourself about Alzheimer’s and understand its many challenges, make it a point to check in regularly with reliable, trusted sources, such as the Alzheimer’s Association.

We are here to help too! Our team at Anthem Memory Care keeps on top of the latest advancements in the fight to end Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. We are happy to share our information and resources with you.

Numerous studies have been conducted on what is known as “compassion fatigue”. Most relate to caregivers in skilled nursing and assisted living environments. But studies have also found that when compassion fatigue is experienced by adult children caring for parents with dementia, it can have an even greater emotional impact.  

Compassion fatigue is not quite the same as “caregiver burnout”.

What is compassion fatigue, and how does it differ from general “caregiver burnout”?

Author, Carol Bradley Bursack, wrote a thoughtful article in AgingCare.com about the unique challenges associated with compassion fatigue. She distinguishes it from caregiver burnout as follows. “Unlike caregiver burnout, compassion fatigue is considered a secondary traumatic stress (STS) disorder that results from exposure to another person’s traumatic experience(s) and creates high levels of emotional stress.” So, your continual exposure to your loved one’s trauma can lead to your own feelings of despair, angry emotional outbursts, and not wanting to be around your loved one.

Thankfully, there are things you can do to better cope and maintain your emotional health. Carol Bursack’s article references experts who have worked with caregivers and who recommend two key actions. They may seem simple but, together they are very powerful.  

1. Practice self-care. Start by putting aside 5 minutes of each day to relax by yourself. Have a snack, meditate or do something that pleases you. Gradually start building up the time from 5 minutes to 10 and so on. Over time you will have carved out important “me time”, which will leave your re-centered and refreshed.
2. Find a non-judgemental outlet. For some, this might mean sitting down with a spiritual advisor. Others might see a therapist. Decide which is best for you and keep up your visits. Having a sounding board from an unbiased third party helps you regain perspective and can have a positive and lasting effect on your emotional wellbeing.

Having Compassion Fatigue does not mean you no longer care!

At Anthem Memory Care communities, we understand the toll that compassion fatigue can take. That’s why we are ever mindful and attentive to the needs of our caregivers. Recognizing signs of fatigue is so important to help support the emotional and physical well being of those we entrust to care for our residents.

For those of you lovingly tending to the needs of your mom or dad with dementia, we offer you this additional advice. Find a good dementia support group conducted by a licensed professional. They will help you better understand your feelings and how to acquire better coping mechanisms and life adjustments to keep your balance. Reach out to family and close friends who have offered to help in the past. Remember, you need more “down time” than you may think.

Above all, recognize that compassion fatigue does not mean you have lost your ability to care. It does mean, however, that you need to seek resources and support to keep that spark of compassion alive and healthy within you.

 Related Articles:

• Avoiding Caregiver Burnout Over the Holidays
• Stop Ignoring Your Caregiver Stress!