Had Chelsea Place not been the kind of memory care community whose staff takes an authentic interest in the life history of each resident, Sandra Diskin's graceful hands and pointed toes might have gone unnoticed, during her physical therapy sessions. But, notice they did. So, instead of hand cycling and leg lifts, Sandra, an 80-year old memory care resident, now helps conduct a ballet barre class for other residents, like her, who are attracted to the graceful movements of ballet. In a recent interview with the Denver Post, Ms. Diskin explained her love of ballet, “I have been a dancer my entire life, I like to think. Ever since I was a child.”
And, as it turns out, Sandra is, indeed, a classically trained ballerina and modern dancer, according to Jenni Dill, Life Engagement Director for Chelsea Place Memory Care. After college, Sandra even joined a dance troupe in New York. It was there that she met her husband, in a touring company of Broadway musical “Annie Get Your Gun.” What a great story!
The truth is that there are many residents in memory care communities who, like Sandra, have rich, vibrant past lives that, in too many cases, go untapped. That may be because there is an ongoing perception that those struggling with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia have lost the ability to remember anything at all. Yet, the more we learn about Alzheimer’s and dementia, the more we are finding that many individuals with these disabilities can, in fact, be re-connected to things they enjoyed doing in the past.
For residents at Chelsea Place, these discoveries are not uncommon. “It’s really important to us to find out something personal that connects to each person when they’re doing their treatment sessions,” said Jenni. “For Sandy, they could take her in the therapy office and have her do the hand cycle or do leg lifts, but none of that really appealed to her. However, she’ll do barre class all day long, and happily.”
Sandra’s barre sessions have gotten attention from other residents. And, according to Jenni Dill, many now prefer Sandy’s class to the more traditional therapy techniques. “It draws everyone together, they get excited about trying something new because they love to learn, especially about other people in their community. They know we’re honoring each other’s history and celebrating them together.”
Kudos to the entire team at Chelsea Place and their dedication to treating each resident as the unique individuals they are. By continuing to tap into each individual’s passions and talents from their past, they are able to help residents and their families better connect to each other and spend happier moments together.
You can learn more about the programs and the people at Chelsea Place Memory care here. Or, visit Anthem Memory Care’s community pages to find a community near you.
It’s hard to talk to parents about their finances. They are, after all, of a generation where any discussion about finances, especially with their children, was pretty much off the table.
Having a parent who has been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, however, changes everything. You need to gain a quick and accurate understanding of the state of their finances. Waiting too long can result in unwelcome surprises downstream as bills pile up and care options become limited.
If you are in this challenging situation, first know that you are not alone. We talk with many adult children who agonize over discussing finances with a parent. They may want to bring up the topic, yet are fearful of upsetting an already delicate emotional balance.
We’re here to help. Below are some important steps you will need to take to properly organize and take charge of your parent’s financials.
While your parent’s cognition level is still normal or near-normal:
When your parent’s cognition has declined and he or she cannot attend to their own affairs:
Of course, the sooner you tackle these last three items, the better. When a parent develops dementia or Alzheimer’s, they will eventually need to pass all control over to a family member. Doing so early on will make things easier downstream.
Taking control of a parent’s finances is tough, to say the least. But, with advance planning and a loving, respectful approach, you will be in a position to make the best possible financial decisions on your mom’s or dad’s behalf.
Have some questions? Feel free to contact an Anthem community near you. We’re here to listen and provide you with local resources to make the road ahead easier.
As sympathetic to others as we all try to be, it's very difficult to imagine the world through the eyes of an individual suffering from dementia. But it’s not “virtually” impossible.
Anthem Memory Care’s Morningside Place, in Overland Park, Kansas, uses virtual reality tools that work together to mimic what an individual with dementia deals with every day. The “Virtual Dementia Tour” provides just a taste of what being locked in the debilitating world of dementia might feel like.
So, when the Overland Park Police sought a way to build greater sensitivity and awareness when dealing with individuals with dementia, they turned to Morningside Place for help.
“With Alzheimer’s soaring, first responders will be coming into ever more contact with people with the disease,” said Peggy Hackett, executive director of Morningside Place, in a recent interview with the Kansas City Star, who was on hand to cover the Police Virtual Dementia Tour. You can see the video here.
For the officers participating in the tour, the experience was eye opening. Wearing glasses to blur vision, thick gloves to impede finger movement, shoe inserts to hinder walking, and earphones emitting a stream of discordant sounds and voices, they entered the world of dementia with a resounding crash.
Each participant was instructed to conduct simple tasks, such as filling a glass of water from the sink, putting on a sweater and folding towels. But they quickly found how just how difficult “simple” tasks can be.
Police Officer, Debra Guieb, reported forgetting what she was supposed to do immediately after receiving the instructions. Detective, Keith Hruska, struggled even to pour water into a glass. Both remarked how helpful this kind of exercise was to help them better understand the overwhelming challenges of living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.
While medical researchers are learning more about dementia and Alzheimer’s every day, there remains much we do not know, and much we cannot understand. Because, unlike other diseases in which patients can explain their symptoms, those impaired with dementia are not always able to explain to us what their world looks and feels like. So programs, such as The Virtual Dementia Tour, are great ways to connect us to a tiny corner of this relentless, debilitating disease.
And, for Overland Park Police, the benefits are tangible. As Officer, Debra Guib, remarked to the Kansas City Star, “I think it’s important that the community and sufferers and their families know that we care.”
Programs like the Virtual Dementia Tour will certainly help them to do just that.
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You know more about non-verbal communication than you think. How often have you gotten a “vibe” from a friend or relative that makes you doubt they really meant what they just said? Maybe it is just a look on someone’s face, or their folded arms or hunched shoulders. They are making an emotional statement that, while not verbalized, is just as real as if it had been.
We instinctively read and react to non-verbal cues every day. When a loved one struggles with Alzheimer’s disease, your ability to interpret their cues and adjust your own communication style accordingly can make the difference between a good day and a bad one --- for both of you.
Here is a list of four key non-verbal communication touch points along with some thoughts on adjusting your own behavior to create a more positive connection with your loved one:
Of course, it is one thing to read a visual cue. It’s another to have the self-control to modify your own actions accordingly. Is your loved one’s posture and facial expression relaxed? This may be a good time to interact in a more meaningful way, such as sharing important information or discussing an upcoming doctor visit. Consequently, if they seem tense or combative, you’ll need to respect their emotional state and back off. Don’t push your needs ahead of theirs. Adjusting your behavior based on the cues you observe will help you make optimum use of those good moments and reduce the occurrence of angry exchanges.
Don’t neglect your own emotional health.
It’s important to take care of yourself emotionally in order to properly care for your loved one. Just as you are able to read your loved one’s non-verbal cues; they may be reading yours as well. When you are tired or frustrated, it can show. Make sure you are taking occasional respite days, and keep appointments for outings with friends. Better yet, join a local support group where you can share your ups and downs with other caregivers. Anthem Memory Care communities host monthly support groups. You can find out more about our communities here.
For so many women and men of a “certain age”, Valentine’s Day was once a special day to buy flowers or candy for your sweetheart and celebrate with a romantic dinner. And, for those with energy to spare, it may have even included a turn or two on the dance floor. While they may no longer be able to “shake a leg” with quite the vigor they once enjoyed, that didn’t stop the residents and staff at Vineyard Place Memory Care in Murrieta, California from celebrating.
Organized by Life Engagement Director, Cody Kohlhagen, the doors opened at 10:00 a.m. as local high school students streamed in for Vineyard Place’s multi-generational event entitled “Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls – Let’s Dance!” And dance they did. “At any give time we had ten to twenty people on the dance floor,” said Cody Kohlhagen. “We had boys and girls from Murrieta Canyon Academy and High School; and, I have to say, they were dressed to impress,” he added.
This was truly a community affair, with music flowing courtesy of Executive Director, Eve Mailly, playing along with the other members of her trio “Zene Strings”. The tunes were multi-generational as well, mixing in contemporary numbers with oldies favorites.
This is not the first (and by no means the last) multi-generational event to occur at Vineyard Place. “We are always looking for opportunities to bring generations together,” says Cody. “It is amazing to see how the room lights up when young people get together with our residents. Relationships are built at these events. Everybody leaves with a smile on their face,” he adds.
Finally, as the last valentine cookie was polished off, everyone said their “goodbyes” with plenty of promises by the students to visit again. “And they will be back,” says Cody. “They get as much out of these relationships as our residents do.”
You can learn more about Vineyard Place Memory Care and it's many programs for individuals with Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia here.
We hear regularly from families of loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease who tell us that the words of a favorite quote, poem or scripture are what get them through those tough days when they feel helpless and, often, hopeless.
We took some time to scour a variety of sources and found what we think are some beautiful words of wisdom. We hope they are helpful to you as well. Feel free to pass this along to a friend or family member who could use some encouragement too.
“Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people brings happiness.”
-Rabbi Harold Kushner
“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.”
― Tia Walker, from The Inspired Caregiver: Finding Joy While Caring for Those You Love
“Embracing a healing presence requires you to just be in the moment together.”
― Nancy L. Kriseman, from The Mindful Caregiver: Finding Ease in the Caregiving Journey
“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.”
— Emory Austin
“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”
- Margaret Mead
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only robs today of its joy.”
— Leo Buscaglia, author, professor, motivational speaker
"When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment."
–Source Unknown
“Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
– Maya Angelou
“From caring comes courage.”
– Lao Tzu
“No matter what the relationship was between the parent and child—whatever it was—this is going to be extremely challenging because it is not logical. There’s no way to deal with it rationally or directly. You don’t reason it out. What I’ve said to so many people is: we always must lead with our love.”
― Dr. Stephen Hoag, in an interview with Alzheimers.net about A Son’s Handbook: Bringing Up Mom with Alzheimer’s/Dementia
"Impossible situations can become possible miracles."
–Robert H. Schuller
As helpful as positive words can be, nothing can replace getting support from other caregivers and professionals who understand your world and your worries. If you haven’t already done so, consider attending a dementia support group in your area. Anthem Memory Care communities provide free monthly meetings. You can visit our Community pages for one near you.
Relatives of loved ones with Alzheimer’s often ask us, “What else can we do to help?” In addition to providing emotional support, consider putting a couple of the items below on your shopping list. These are aids developed specifically for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease. They can help with every day challenges, as well as bolster emotional well being for your loved one.
Practical:
Safety for “in-home” care or visits home:
Emotional support and comfort:
Activity:
These items will help make your loved one’s life (and, in many cases, yours) easier. All of the above items are easily found on the internet. Take some time to explore and price compare. Be sure to repeat your search every so often. As research and technology continue to advance, you can expect to see more innovative products come into the marketplace.
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What is the best environment for your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease? Is it home? Is it in a memory care community? This is a tough decision, because it’s in our nature to keep our aging parent or other loved one at home for as long as possible. But how long is “too long”? And how do we keep our own feelings from clouding our thinking?
Below is a brief overview of some things to consider with both in-home care and memory care community options. The more you know, the better prepared you and your family will be able to make decisions.
In-home care:
Most seniors prefer to remain in the home they have lived in for decades. And who can blame them! They can stay in an environment familiar to them. And for you, there is no need to worry about the potential disruption of moving them out. In fact, this may be an ideal arrangement in the early phases of Alzheimer’s. Here are some things, however, to take into consideration for in-home care.
Memory care communities:
This is a care model that is growing in popularity. Memory care communities are unique from “assisted living” communities in that they are focused on providing care for Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Safety, 24/7 experienced care and socialization are “built into” this environment by design. Here are some things to consider, however, before placing your loved one in memory care.
Of course, there are many other things to consider, such as costs and insurance. That’s why it is important to speak with your family and your healthcare provider. And conduct your own research. Your loved one’s environment, and how it is managed, can have a major impact on their quality of life.
Anthem Memory Care has communities in several states. We'll be happy to answer your questions and provide a tour of a community near you.
If you have a loved one who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, you may feel that your world, as you’ve known it, is falling apart. It is hard enough news for you to digest, let alone other family members. How to tell them? How will they react? And how will you handle their reactions?
Without question, the process of sharing difficult news like this is stressful. However, once you do so, your family and close friends will be more aware and, therefore, better able to help support you, especially in these early days. So it’s best to take a deep breath and begin. And we're here to help.
For those closest to you, if possible, arrange a visit in person. It will be less stressful for both of you. Not only will it be easier to communicate, you will feel more emotionally supported with that warm touch or hug that you probably could use right now. Of course, whether in person or in a phone call, pick a time when you are both less likely to be rushing off to work, school, or getting dinner ready.
Once you have their attention, here are some suggestions that we have found useful for others who express the same feelings and concerns. They are taken from our experience, and have also been recommended by the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA).
As you share this news, keep in mind that reactions may range from soft, steady words of reassurance to complete shock and disbelief. Be prepared and be patient. Remember how you felt when you first heard the news. Most will come around and be supportive.
No one can fully prepare for a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. But by sharing the news with family and close friends you will find yourself better able to cope with it yourself.
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When you suspect that your loved one may be in the early stages of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, the very thought of the road ahead can be overwhelming.
If you are like many, your first step might be to reach out for resources and arm yourself with as much information as possible. That’s a good place to start. And, we have some tips to help you.
But the time comes when you know you need to approach your loved one. Because, at this point, your goal is to get him or her to the doctor for a professional assessment. That means sitting down for a candid talk.
Here are three tips to make achieving your goal easier. They are based upon our experience as well as recommendations from the Alzheimer’s Association, the Alzheimer’s Society and the National Institute of Health.
We know how stressful navigating through these waters can be! Make sure, through all of your efforts, that you are taking care of yourself. Don’t go it alone. Find a local support group. (Anthem Memory Care communities offer free monthly support groups.) Reach out to those individuals in your life whom you can trust and who can help you in your efforts to make the right decisions for your loved one.
Above all, when friends and families ask “What can I do to help?”, let them help!
Perhaps it’s your mom, dad or other loved one who has begun forgetting some of the basics --- how to operate the coffee maker, where they keep the cereal bowls, or even how to get to the store. Or perhaps he or she has become more confused lately, asking the same questions over and over again. Regardless, you’re getting worried. Could it be Alzheimer’s? It’s hard to know what to do next.
First take a deep breath. Resist the temptation to jump to conclusions.
For one thing, your loved one may not have Alzheimer’s disease. Chronic illnesses, depression and medications can cause confusion, fuzzy thinking, and lapses in memory. Don’t assume what you don’t yet know. And don’t impulsively confront your loved one with your worried concerns. Not yet.
Before you sit down to have that conversation with your loved one about his or her memory impairment, you have some work to do. Here is a short list of things that you will need to have on hand, not only to make that conversation easier, but for any discussions downstream you may have with your family and/or doctors.
Begin with knowledge and facts on your side.
Taking the actions on this list will help arm you for your discussions with your loved one, your family, and physicians. And the greater sense of control this gives you will, believe it or not, have a calming effect on you going forward.
Of course, nothing can truly prepare us for something as daunting as an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. But if and when one is given to your loved one, by preparing in advance you will, at the very least, have your feet on a more solid foundation.
The days leading up to New Year’s Day are a good time to reflect on the year passing and think about some goals for the upcoming year. Yes, we all laugh at New Year’s resolutions, mainly because we know how hard they can be to keep. But a new year also marks a chance for a new beginning. And if you are a caregiver for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease, you could probably use a new beginning.
We selected 10 of what we think are the very best New Year’s resolutions, taken from a variety of sources. We hope that there are a few that you can use.
We’ll close with one more thought from Alzheimer’s Universe. “The most important thing to remember this year when setting a New Year’s resolution is to consider how you can improve your life overall while continuing to provide the best possible care to your loved one. “
We couldn’t have said it better.
This is the season for gift giving. For many, questions like “Mom, what would you like for Christmas?” are greeted by either a short list or, more likely, “Oh don’t worry about me, dear. I don’t need anything.” But if you have a loved one struggling with Alzheimer’s, your holiday wish list is more challenging.
The question of “what to get” becomes tougher because the answer has become less clear.
Perhaps you are a son or daughter and you’ve put off shopping for a memory impaired loved one for this reason. We’d like to help. Here is a list we’ve put together that we hope will make that last minute shopping a little easier.
If your loved one is in the earlier stages of Alzheimer’s:
If your loved one is in the mid-to-later stages of Alzheimer’s:
For loved ones in mid-to-later stages of Alzheimer’, focus on the senses.
Of course, for those in the mid-to-later stages of Alzheimer’s, there is always a need for practical items such as Velcro-tie shoes and other aids. While they’re certainly useful, try leaving those purchases for later, if you can. Give gifts that you would enjoy yourself, but that are simple to use and stimulate the senses. You’ll feel better and the giving, itself, will be more enjoyable.
At Anthem Memory Care we understand the stress that holidays can bring for caregivers and those you care for. That is why our communities have respite care programs, as well as dementia support groups to support your own physical and emotional health. Be sure to visit our community pages to learn more.
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The holidays are a time for family and friends to get together. And, it can get a little crazy with parties, impromptu get-togethers and out of town relatives to attend to. If you are a caregiver you know, first hand, the stress this can cause. Not only do you have a loved one to care for, you have been taken out of your routine and swept up in a swirl of activities. And some of them you could probably live without.
The holidays are survivable. But you must put your priorities on top of all those well-meaning friends and relatives. You need to take control.
Here are seven tips that will help you survive (and even enjoy) the rest of the holidays:
Above all, be sure to take advantage of resources. Anthem Memory Care communities provide respite care during the holidays. We also hold free monthly dementia support groups. The Alzheimer’s Association has a great hotline with 24/7 information and advice. They can be reached at 727-578-2558 or the 24-hour Helpline at 1-800-772-8672. They are there to help and will be open on Christmas and New Year’s Day.
As we get deeper into the holiday season we can’t help but notice how music fills the air more than any other time of the year. We hear holiday music in our shopping malls, restaurants and, for many of us, in our homes.
Few would argue the influence that music has on our emotions and the tug at a memory or two when we hear a song out of our past. How often have you said “I remember where I was when I first heard this song,” or “This song always reminds me of…”
For those struggling with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, music is often the key to bringing fragments of past memories back into focus. Why is that?
Music stimulates our memories. Even for those with Alzheimer’s.
According to the Mayo Clinic, the areas of the brain that link to music memory often remain better connected than other areas which can be severely damaged by the disease. That is why a memory-impaired loved one may, in fact, respond when he or she hears a familiar tune.
The Alzheimer’s Association points out several therapeutic reasons to let the music play. Here are some key benefits:
So, what is the best way to introduce more music into the life of your memory-impaired loved one? Here are some suggestions (several courtesy of the Mayo Clinic):
Above all, pay close attention to the reaction of your loved one. Their reaction will tell you when to load up more tunes or when to end the music session.
Music plays a large role in all of our lives, no matter who we are or what our challenges may be. By incorporating music into the daily lives of loved ones struggling with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia, we can help them connect --- not only to the music, but to loved ones and the world around them.