Are you planning to travel over the holidays with a mom or dad who has dementia? If so you may already be a bundle of nerves, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. How will mom handle it? What if dad becomes agitated during the flight?
Your concerns are certainly understandable. However, there are things you can do to prepare both yourself and your parent for the journey ahead that will help you navigate around high stress situations and avoid unnecessary hassles. Here are some tips:
For all travel:
When traveling by car:
When traveling by air:
The best way to plan for travel with a loved one challenged by dementia is to expect that things will not always go as planned. Try to have a “Plan B” for as many legs of your journey as possible. Then, when some things do go smoothly, you’ll be pleasantly surprised and more able to cope with the things that don’t.
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Often those caring for a loved one with dementia avoid having visitors, especially over the holidays. It is easier to keep a low profile and not have to answer probing questions and deal with the startled looks on peoples’ faces when they experience a noticeable change in the family member with dementia.
If that sounds like you, it is certainly understandable. No one can blame you for pushing back on hosting holiday gatherings. However, if you have always enjoyed having visitors, you should know that, by planning ahead, you and your loved one with dementia can still enjoy holiday festivities.
Here are three tips to make your holiday gatherings easier:
"I'm writing to let you know how things are going at our house. While we're looking forward to your visit, we thought it might be helpful if you understood our current situation before you arrive.
"You may notice that ___ has changed since you last saw him/her. Among the changes you may notice are ___.
"Please understand that ___ may not remember who you are and may confuse you with someone else. Please don't feel offended by this. He/she appreciates your being with us and so do we."
Amidst all the planning, make sure you are taking care of yourself. Consider taking a week or two for yourself to re-charge and prepare. Anthem Memory Care communities provide excellent short-term “respite care” programs that allow your loved one to experience professional, person-centered care while you take care of your personal business.
Above all, be easy on yourself. Resist the temptation to give in to others’ expectations based on parties from years past. Instead, take some time to prepare your loved one with dementia as well as family and friends. This holiday season may be different, but it can be just as enjoyable as ever.
Thanksgiving is a special time for family and close friends to gather and share laughter, give thanks and enjoy great food. For most of us, the hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving Day only adds to its enjoyment. If you are caring for a mom or dad with dementia, however, the combination of people coming and going, laughing and talking and sitting down to a big meal can have an unsettling effect.
If you are hosting Thanksgiving this year, with a little special consideration, you can help your parent optimize their Thanksgiving Day experience and make yours and everyone else’s more enjoyable as well. Here are some suggestions:
If you can make these simple adjustments to your Thanksgiving Day, you will find yourself able to provide your family and yourself with a meaningful holiday, knowing that you are doing everything possible to help your loved one feel included, safe and secure.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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By now you may have read some of the many articles and other news items proclaiming November as National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month and National Family Caregivers Month. Both deserve recognition, to be sure. However, if you are currently a caregiver for a mom or dad with dementia, all the recognition in the world can’t help you with your day to day issues, challenges and fears. Or can it?
Why not use the focus on Alzheimer’s and caregivers this month to do a little self-assessment? We’ve put together a short list of “check-up” questions to help you make sure that you are doing everything possible to better cope with your role as caregiver.
Be aware, too, that the focus on caregivers this month may encourage others to reach out to help you. Be open to accepting their help. If a relative or friend offers to run a few errands for you or fill in for you when you have a doctor’s appointment, let them!
Here at Anthem Memory Care, we regularly invite the public in to attend our seminars, dementia support groups and other events that the whole family can enjoy. You can take advantage of these free services to get your questions answered and help you navigate through the challenging months ahead.
November’s focus on caregivers and those families struggling with Alzheimer’s disease is an important one. Use that focus to make sure you are doing everything you can to keep yourself moving forward, not only in November, but in the months to come.
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When someone you love has been diagnosed with dementia, your world changes very quickly. You want to learn as much as you can about the disease and make sure you are doing everything possible for your loved one to keep their levels of cognition as strong as possible, for as long as possible.
As hard as you are working to gather information together, you may actually be overlooking an important aspect of cognitive health: vision and hearing.
The Journal of American Medical Association “JAMA” recently issued the results of a study which sampled 3,000 older Americans and 30,000 Medicare beneficiaries. They found that poor vision was often associated with poor cognition.
The author of the study, Dr. Suzann Pershing, an ophthalmologist at Stanford University, was quoted in an article in the New York Times, as she helped clarify the results. “While this association doesn’t prove vision loss causes cognitive decline, intuitively it makes sense that the less engaged people are with the world, the less cognitive stimulation they receive, and the more likely their cognitive function will decline.”
Other studies point to the importance of hearing as it relates to cognition. Dr. Frank R. Lin, an otolaryngologist at The Johns Hopkins Center on Aging and Health found, in a study, that cognitive abilities declined up to 40% faster in those with hearing loss than those with normal hearing.
What do the results of these studies mean to your loved with dementia?
Vision and hearing are our most powerful senses. Making sure that your mom or dad’s vision and hearing are regularly checked is an important part of keeping them as alert to the world around them as possible. The American Academy of Ophthalmology recommends that seniors older than 64 receive an eye exam every year. The American Speech-Language Hearing Association recommends that those over age 50 have their hearing tested every three years.
We agree. At Anthem Memory Care communities, we take a holistic approach to care, recognizing the inter-connectedness of all aspects of heath. Regular check-ups, including sight and hearing, are essential to keeping our residents operating at their best possible cognitive levels.
When a loved one has been diagnosed with dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, it is easy to focus on the illness itself and overlook other, key aspects of their health. But it is important to remember that our vision and hearing are the two most important ways we connect with each other and with the world around us.
By making sure your loved one’s hearing and eyesight are as strong as possible, you will be giving them more ammunition in the battle to retain as much of their memory and cognitive abilities as possible!
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Along with being full of lots of memories, houses are also full of lots of “stuff” --- magazines, books, your old childhood school projects, toys, pots and pans that never get used, and a host of other things. If the clutter seems overwhelming to you, you can only imagine what it feels like to your mom or dad. This is their home after all. And it’s easier to bring things in than to take things out!
So when the time comes to consider making a transition for your parent to a smaller house, apartment, or a senior living community, it can be tempting to procrastinate. After all, what will you do with all his or her things? Where do you even begin?
We hear this often from sons and daughters who are reluctant to disrupt their parents’ lives, yet realize that some sifting through and “boxing up” needs to occur before a move can be made. Of course it’s easier if your parent can stay with a relative while you clean. But that’s not always feasible. And, as with so many things, when a parent has dementia, it is even more challenging. It becomes harder to reason with them and they may become more easily agitated. What can help, is to be as organized as possible.
Here are 6 tips we have found to be helpful.
Follow these suggestions and you may be surprised at how much easier things get as you move along. Once you’ve boxed up a few things, the next round will go more smoothly.
Above all, however, remember to slow down the action when your parent expresses anxiety. Individuals with dementia may not remember recent events, but they often will remember old familiar objects. By slowing down and taking things one step at a time, you will find the process to be easier on everyone involved.
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Highline Place Memory Care in Littleton, Colorado recently had a visit from Pippi the pig, a resident from one of their favorite local organizations, Hog Haven Farm.
First a bit about Hog Haven. It is a non-profit rescue farm for potbelly pigs which has been operating since 2014. So far, they’ve rescued 100 pigs from situations of abandonment, neglect and slaughter. So, kudos to the dedicated team at Hog Haven.
What’s amazing about these visits, according to the staff at Highline Place, is to observe the interest and expressions of joy these potbelly pigs bring to individuals with dementia. Animal Planet recently brought their cameras in to cover the Hog Haven visit to Highline Place. The video of the broadcast shows residents delighting in petting and feeding the pig, who appears more than happy to accept their carrots. When you look closely at the video (which you can watch here), you can see the faces of the residents light up as the pig “makes the rounds”, lapping up all the attention.
Why are these visits so important? Elle Fore, Activities Director for Highline Place, explains that individuals with dementia tend to, as she refers to it “lose time backwards”, meaning that their clearest memories are often their earlier ones. Some of the most vivid early memories often involve time spent playing with favorite pets. Bringing animals to visit, therefore reawakens those memories and brings a sense of joy to the residents as they re-connect to a pleasurable part of their earlier life.
At Anthem Memory Care, we recognize the benefit that animals bring to our residents. That is why, through local partnerships, we regularly bring well-behaved animals into our communities for visits. As most of us know, animals have a unique ability to engage, sooth and calm both the young and the old. And it is always a joy to witness.
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We all know that staying physically active is good for our bodies and our minds. But what about individuals with Alzheimer’s disease? Can physical activity have a positive impact on them as well? The good news is, yes! Several studies have provided strong evidence that physical activity is good for individuals with dementia, including Alzheimer’s. The Alzheimer’s Association tells us that physical activity is not only a valuable part of any overall body wellness plan, but is associated with a lower risk of cognitive decline.
If you are caring for a loved one with dementia, you might be wondering how to add some physical exercise into their routine. How can you get them up and moving without causing too much disruption? Here are some tips:
Try to keep your exercise sessions as consistent as possible. Make alterations to your routine to keep it interesting and ensure that your loved one is enjoying the activity. And always be on the lookout for signs of fatigue.
At Anthem Memory Care communities, we tailor physical fitness activities to meet each individual’s abilities, endurance levels, and preferences. We recognize that, when it comes to exercise, one size does not fit all. Above all, it is important to make sure the exercise sessions remain enjoyable. That way, instead of a chore, it becomes something that both of you will look forward to.
Recently, Willowbrook Memory Care welcomed a group of local school children to join residents in putting together cards and gift bags for the local police officers as part of “Thank a Police Officer Day”. The children made colorful “thank you” cards and the residents stuffed gift bags with candies and other delights. The officers enjoyed the cards and goodies and the children and residents felt that they had done their part to support them.
To the casual observer, this might appear to be simply a “feel good” event to bring young and old together. But for experts in the field of dementia this kind of activity accomplishes much more. Studies show that having a sense of purpose is therapeutic for those challenged by dementia. In what is now considered a landmark study, Rush University Medical Center in Chicago conducted a long-term study of over 1,400 senior citizens over a 15-year period. Those who rated high on their “purpose of life” scale had a 30% lower rate of cognitive decline over those who rated lower.
How can we use this insight to improve the quality of life for our loved ones with dementia? At our Anthem Memory Care communities, we work closely with our local schools and other agencies to take advantage of opportunities to bring purposeful activities to our residents. These activities often include making care packages for charities, baking with local Girl Scouts and, yes, putting together gift bags to thank our hard-working police officers. Some of our residents, who are able to, even share their talents with others.
While it is understandable, it is unfortunate that many continue to make the assumption that an individual with dementia no longer needs a sense of purpose. We all do! At Anthem Memory Care providing opportunities for our residents to participate in purposeful activities is part of our person-centered care philosophy. It is part of our pledge to treat each person as the unique individuals they are and to always engage with dignity and respect.
When a family struggles to come to grips with a older loved one diagnosed with dementia, the children are often kept in the dark. Why? In most cases it is because parents seek to protect their children, fearing too much information will cause them unnecessary stress.
Efforts to block a child from a loved one’s illness, however, can backfire. Children are left to come to their own conclusions, which are often inaccurate. They can begin losing sleep, acting out, and feeling isolated from family and friends.
Highline Place Memory Care (an Anthem Memory Care community) in Littleton, Colorado, has created a unique program to help children understand and cope with dementia in their families. It’s called KIDZ, which stands for “Kids in the Dementia Zone”. The program consists of a series of sessions that, in a safe and nurturing environment, explain dementia in terms children can understand. It helps arm them with skills for coping with emotions and reactions to the disease. The program also promotes the use of “art journaling” therapy, in which the children use art as well as words to express themselves and how dementia impacts their lives and that of their families.
The KIDZ program was developed to fill an important gap identified by Jodi Cornman, Community Relations Director for Highline Place, after meeting two young children whose father had dementia. While searching for educational resources for the youngsters, Jodi realized that few were available. That experience compelled her to partner with professionals and educators in the area to create KIDZ.
The KIDZ sessions are directed by Lexanne Leonard, a teacher in the Cherry Creek School District; Kathleen Gorman, a spiritual care coordinator, and Jill Rocha, a quality improvement coach for Denver’s Early Childhood Council.
“It’s hard enough for adults to face dementia and deal with it, so imagine how difficult it is for children,” said Jodi. “We designed this education series to help the growing number of families contending with this issue.”
You can find out more about KIDZ by contacting Jodi Cornman at 720-466-9442.
Are you a sports fan? Even if you’re not, you probably know someone who is. And, they have probably made it well known what their favorite teams are. That’s because the process of rooting for the “home team” is deeply ingrained in most of our lives, often having started in early childhood.
But what happens to these memories when a loved one struggles with dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease? We know that they can forget something that happened only moments ago. Yet, studies show that some long term memories often remain intact, especially those that stirred emotions in one’s earlier years.
Therefore, it’s not surprising that, for the residents of Chelsea Place Memory Care in Aurora, Colorado, nothing, even dementia, gets in the way of cheering on their Broncos football team each week.
The Denver Channel wrote an article about these enthusiastic Broncos fans recently and spoke with some of the residents as well as Jenni Dill, Life Engagement Director for Chelsea Place. “Their long-term memory is intact,” Jenni explained. “They may not remember what they’re eating for dinner right now, but they sure as heck remember that they’re deep down Broncos fans and that never changes.”
As resident, Fred Hall put it, “The football has put me back in the ‘rah rah rah’ stage.”
These amazing moments of recognition are precious for residents as well as family and friends. That is why Anthem Memory Care caregivers take the time to develop a deep understanding of each individual’s life story as well as their memory and cognition levels. They know that, while their capabilities will change over time, there may that one social situation that might spark some of those precious memories.
Photo taken from video courtesy of The Denver Channel.
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Moving your mom or dad to a memory care community involves a series of decisions, some easier than others. First, comes the realization that your parent can no longer live safely at home alone. Next comes the process of identifying, reviewing and making decisions on what the best environment is for them, given their particular challenges. Then you must make sure you have Power of Attorney and that you have all the documents together to support proper care for them. Finally, there is nothing left but the move itself.
Many would say at this point, “Now comes the hard part.” And, it’s true in many ways. Yet, there are things you can do to prepare yourself and your parent for the move. Here are some tips, collected from The Alzheimer’s Association as well as our own team of professionals, here at Anthem Memory Care:
While these tips can help make the move-in process go more smoothly, it is important to make all your decisions within the context with your unique situation. No one knows your mom or dad like you do. Use this as a guide, keeping the personality and emotional needs of your loved and yourself in mind at all times.
Once you’ve made the move, try to stay positive. Keep in mind that your promise to take care of your mom or dad means more than keeping them in an environment that may no longer be optimum for them or for you. Take some time to get back on your feet again. Get together with supportive friends and family members. You have been giving loving care to your parent and now it’s time to care for yourself.
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What is Shadowing? Can You Minimize It?
Do you have a mom or dad with dementia who feels the need to keep you in their line of sight at all times? Do they follow you around the house?
This is a common phenomenon referred to as “shadowing”.
Angela Lunde, a Mayo Clinic expert on Alzheimer’s Disease, describes shadowing as “when the person with dementia attempts to keep his or her caregiver in their sight at all times, following them like a small child would his or her parent. Shadowing can have the Alzheimer’s caregiver feeling smothered and their personal space feeling violated.”
It is the last part of Ms. Lunde’s description that often contributes to caregiver anxiety, depression and burn-out.
How to tackle that anxiety? It helps to gain a better understanding as to why your loved one is shadowing you. The underlying cause of shadowing is fear. Many individuals struggling with dementia live in a constant state of fear --- fear of forgetting, fear of getting lost, fear of strangers and basically fear of anything unfamiliar to them. Imagine this out-of-proportion fear engulfing your mom or dad and you can begin to understand why they cling to you. You are their “safe haven” in a very scary world they feel they have no control over.
What to do? Fortunately, along with our better understanding of dementia, solutions to behavior such as shadowing are emerging. Here are five things you can do to create an environment that minimizes the need for shadowing:
Above all, make sure you repeat your calming mantra before you leave the room. Set your timer and give them an activity to keep them focused while you are gone. If you do this consistently you and your loved one will be rewarded by a calmer, more tranquil environment and an easier, more pleasant co-existence with one another.
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It was not that long ago that, if your loved one was diagnosed with dementia, your only option would be to find an “assisted living” or a “long-term care” community. Assisted living is a term that refers to an environment where elderly residents are given assistance with their daily needs, usually with a nurse on staff to administer medications and respond to any medical emergencies. As the resident’s dementia progresses, however, they will typically need to transition to a long-term care environment.
Fortunately, over the last several years, research focusing on the dementia diseases, such as Lewy Body dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, has helped foster a deeper understanding of dementia, and has fueled a new generation of therapies and treatments. Along with this has emerged a new kind of senior living community commonly referred to as “memory care”.
Some assisted living and long-term care providers will carve out a “memory care unit” on a floor or wing of their facilities. However, there are new communities being built from the ground up to focus 100% on memory care. Which is better?
Here are five key advantages of communities devoted to memory care that experts have identified:
In much the same way that doctors use specialists, memory care provides a degree of expertise designed to go far beyond general care. Even those communities which carve out special dementia units must ultimately spread their resources across a broad spectrum of residents.
It is for these reasons that professionals generally concur that memory care communities, built to serve solely the needs of individuals struggling with dementia, are able to provide a level of care and expertise that far exceeds that available with other providers.
Photo is courtesy of Highline Place, an Anthem Memory Care community in Littleton, Colorado.
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Families of individuals with dementia often tell us that one of the greatest sources of anxiety they experience is not having all their parent’s key documents in one place. They often find themselves in a state of flux, saying over and over “Yes, I know I need to find that,” or “I’ll have to go through her drawers again and see if I can find it."
It is hard enough to identify exactly what documents you need to keep on hand for your memory-impaired mom or dad. Then you have to find them! And, chances are, they are not in one place. They may be hidden under piles of papers or in the bottom of drawers.
We’ve put together a list of the key documents you will be needing as you proceed to make decisions about the financial, health and emotional wellbeing of your loved one. A few of them you will need to work through with an elder law attorney.
Health documents:
Financial documents:
Once you get these documents together, it is a good idea to have copies of each of them available so that you can quickly grab them as needed without having to stop and photocopy them. You may find it easier to keep a special file drawer with folders marked for each document. You might also consider purchasing a special storage box with sections and tabs from your local office supply store. The better organized your documents are, the better prepared you will be when you meet with doctors, lawyers and care providers.
Of course, as time goes on, you will want to make sure you also have access to their will (living will, trust), any end of life instructions and life insurance policy. But first things first. Make sure that you have the key documents on hand to assist your loved one in getting the best possible care, along with keeping them functioning physically, mentally and emotionally as long as possible.