Dr. Edward Creagen, of the Mayo Clinic, was once quoted as saying, “If pet ownership was a medication, it would be patented tomorrow.”
It is a statement that most of us would agree with. Throughout history, much has been written about the seemingly miraculous effect pets can have on those who are ill or elderly. If you have a loved one with a dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, you may have observed that the simple act of petting an animal can bring a smile or flicker of recognition to mom’s or dad’s face.
Most experts agree that interacting with a pet can have a positive impact on health and well being. Why is this? There are many reasons, and they may be different for everyone. We are often asked at our Anthem Memory Care communities, why our therapeutic programs include animals. Here are three key benefits interactions with animals bring to our residents.
Our communities have found that pet visits improve the well being of our caregivers as well as our residents. They find these visits uplifting and energizing and look forward to them as much as our residents do. For all these reasons and more, regularly bringing our animal friends to visit residents is regular event in our Anthem communities.
As Karin Winegar, author of the book, Saved: Rescued Animals and the Lives They Transform, writes, “The human-animal bond bypasses the intellect and goes straight to the heart and emotions and nurtures us in ways that nothing else can.”
If you are providing care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease, you have probably found yourself overwhelmed with the many demanding responsibilities. After all, you are carrying a heavy emotional burden on your shoulders.
Perhaps you are telling yourself that you can cope; that you have everything under control. But do you? According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, over half of family caregivers interviewed said their health has gotten worse and has impacted their ability to provide loving care. A study called Assessment of Family Caregivers found that 40-70% of family caregivers exhibited significant symptoms of depression. And, almost half of them met the diagnostic criteria for major depression!
It is so important to be aware of the symptoms of burn-out so that you can take action before they take control of you. Experts, including the Alzheimer’s Association, have identified ten warning signs of caregiver burn-out.
Ask yourself: How many of these am I experiencing?
Remember that, when your health and well being is compromised, you are less able to care for your loved one. Your relationship with him or her may lose any semblance of what it once was. Moments of calmness become less frequent. Arguments increase. That is why it’s time to break the unhealthy circuit before you end up with a serious mental and/or physical illness.
Fortunately, there are ways to treat burn-out and plenty of resources to help. Dementia support groups provide a great release in a safe environment, among sympathetic people who can empathize with what you’re going through. Short term respite stay communities, such as Anthem Memory Care, welcome your loved one for a week or more and give you time to take care of yourself and re-charge your energy.
Caregiver burn-out is real. It’s not all in your head. Left untreated, it can have a major negative impact on your health and your relationships. Take time to take care of yourself. Both you and your loved ones will be glad you did.
The Fourth of July is, without doubt, one of our noisiest holidays. Parades, pool parties and, of course, fireworks are the order of the day. If you have a parent with dementia, however, you know that these big noisy events can have a disastrous effect as they try to cope with all the excitement and people coming and going.
With a little planning and some special consideration, however, your mom or dad can remain calm and truly enjoy the day. Here are five tips that will help:
By taking time to prepare your day in advance, you will find yourself able to provide family, friends and yourself with a festive, enjoyable Fourth of July celebration, while keeping your mom or dad feeling safe and comfortable at all times.
Nothing brings spontaneous moments of smiles and tears like family celebrations. For loved ones with dementia, however, those moments can be far and few in between. Yet, when they do occur, they are priceless.
It is for these reasons, among others, that celebrating is an important part of socialization for individuals with dementia. And it is beneficial for families as well. That’s why, at Anthem Memory Care communities, celebrations have become a way of life.
Highline Place Memory Care in Littleton, Colorado, recently celebrated Flag Day in a way most of us have never experienced. Troops stationed at nearby Buckley Airforce Base were invited to perform a special flag ceremony to celebrate the day and to honor veterans who have served their country.
The ceremony brought everyone outdoors to the flag poles on a beautiful June day to witness the spectacle. Two Highline Place war veterans sat front and center as the service men proceeded to lower two American flags, present them to the veterans and raise new flags in their place. The service men were rewarded in return with a salute from the veterans. And there were smiles, and even a few tears, all around.
A reporter from Channel 4 CBS Denver was on hand to cover the event. As the reporter noted in her coverage, “Military service has played a major role for these residents lives and events like these help rekindle those memories.” You can watch the video of the news coverage here.
Celebrations are part of all of our lives, keeping our traditions alive and bringing loved ones together. And for those with dementia, they may even rekindle an old memory or two.
How often do you mark special occasions with your loved one with dementia? Be sure to find time to celebrate, even the smallest of achievements and milestones. You will find it well worth your time and effort. Our Anthem community residents, families and staff certainly do!
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Experts in memory care have learned that environment plays a significant role in the well being of an individual struggling with dementia. Narrow, dark hallways with hospital-style equipment, low ceilings, small dark spaces; all contribute to an experience that fuels anxiety and a feeling of isolation in residents with dementia.
Thankfully, research has led to positive change. Today, it is possible to find environments that have been optimized for the well being of those with dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease. Knowing that, how can you make sure that the memory care environment you chose for your loved one is optimal for him or her?Here are some key attributes to look for as you evaluate different memory care communities:
As you visit memory care communities, keep the above guidelines in mind. No single feature or attribute, alone, creates an optimum environment. It is the combination of many positive, interrelated aspects coming together that make a good fit. And, once you find that good fit, your loved one will experience a positive, dementia-friendly environment, and will be more likely to enjoy a higher quality of life, with a greater sense of security.
Take your time to find the right environment for your loved one. Let us know how we can help.
A Power of Attorney, or “POA”, allows an individual to appoint another individual (or organization) to manage their affairs if and when they become unable to do so. There are several different types of POAs to address a variety of situations and levels of control. A Durable Power of Attorney is most often granted by individuals in early stages of dementia, because, as the term “durable” suggests, it will continue to be valid after he or she is no longer able to make their own decisions.
When does your parent need to grant Power of Attorney? Now!
As a memory care provider, we occasionally will have a family member come to us seeking care for a parent who is in the later stages of dementia. We ask if they have been granted Power of Attorney. This takes some families by surprise who were not aware of the legal requirements of making these kinds of decisions. Now, they will need to find an attorney and start from scratch. And, because their loved one is no longer capable of making decisions, the process is more complicated. That is why it is important for your parent and you to take action while he or she is still cognitively aware and able to grant Power of Attorney.
The more organized you are, the easier the process will be.
Here are steps you can take now towards obtaining a Power of Attorney that take into consideration your parent as well as other family members.
Of course, if your parent is in a more advanced stage of dementia, you will need to arrange for a doctor’s assessment to confirm his or her level of cognition. The doctor may have to testify in court as well. At this point, only a court order can grant the Power of Attorney.
While gaining Power of Attorney is not a simple process, you and your parent will be glad you did it as they become less able to contribute to their own well being. Taking steps now will help make the process run more smoothly. Most importantly, it will give your mom or dad the peace of mind that someone they trust and love will be looking out for them when they are no longer able to.
When a loved one receives a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, all thoughts and actions are instantly adjusted to their needs. Your world has been turned upside down. But your own well being is now more important than ever. Because if you are not operating on all cylinders, everyone around you will suffer. Good care giving means taking care of yourself, as well as your loved one.
Here are some tips that we regularly pass along to family members of individuals suffering from dementia. They will help you gain the strength, resolve and emotional wellness needed to “keep calm and carry on”.
One last thought. As you tackle each of the above, be sure to stop and tell yourself regularly, “I am doing the best I can.” Those seven words will go a long way towards lowering your stress levels and keeping your emotional health intact.
When a child or teen has a family member who is diagnosed with a dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, they will experience many of the same emotions that you, as an adult, feel. Often, however, their needs get overlooked as you, yourself, struggle to absorb the impact of the diagnosis. Then, when your attention returns to them, you may find them withdrawn and cut off emotionally. What to do?
We are often asked by families of our memory care residents how to make their children feel more comfortable and secure with a family member who has dementia. First, it’s important to be sensitive to their feelings. You can expect to see, depending on their age, one or more of the following:
Any of these emotional reactions can, if gone unrecognized, impact their schoolwork, friendships and even their physical health. That’s why it’s important to listen to your kids and encourage them to express their feelings. You can then offer support in the following ways:
Some children will adapt more readily than others. One way to help them adjust to this “new normal” is to gradually incorporate some activities that you can all do together.
Don’t hesitate to look outside your home for support. Consider attending local community events that educate families about Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. Anthem’s Highline Place Memory Care, has developed KIDZ in the Dementia Zone, a special program to help children understand this challenging disease and better cope with it.
Most importantly, listen to your children. Let them take the lead. Give them time to work through the issues together with you. There will be good days and challenging ones ahead. Be there for them.
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Driving with dementia is a dangerous combination. The truth, however, is that many individuals with dementia are still behind the wheel. If your mom or dad is one of them, chances are you’ve tried to initiate conversations about giving up the car keys, only to hear something along the lines of, “I’ve been driving to the grocery store for sixty years. I know how to get there.” So, it’s often easier to walk away and worry. That’s understandable. But don’t let your efforts end there.
Consider your parent’s point of view. Losing the ability to drive represents a real turning point for them; a devastating loss of independence. And, for those whose sense of reason is clouded by dementia, it’s even worse. They are anything but ready to turn over the car keys. Especially to you!
Before you try having that conversation again, here are some things to do that may help make it easier.
The Alzheimer’s Association urges caregivers to always be prepared for the individual driving with dementia to become angry with you. Much of this is due to the memory and insight issues that are part of the disease. Try to avoid becoming angry in return. After all, this was the person who probably taught you to drive.
Stick with it and don’t give up.
Remember, every time your mom or dad gets behind the wheel of the car, they are putting others and themselves at risk. Keep at it. If all else fails, don’t be afraid to take action and remove the keys and/or the car, if necessary. When that day comes, however, be sure to have your alternative transportation in place.
Through all of your efforts, it’s important to make sure you are taking care of yourself. This isn’t easy. So pay extra attention to your own physical and emotional health. Support groups are a great way to share some of your burden with others who have “been there” and can help. Make time to get away by yourself. And, as always, let friends and family help.
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A cruel consequence of Alzheimer’s disease is that it can rob its victims, not only of their memories, but of their ability to speak. Such is the case for Olga Lorentz, who can no longer personally recount her extraordinary story of survival as a Polish street medic during World War II. Fortunately, Olga’s daughter, Danusia, knows it by heart.
Earlier this month, Highline Place Memory Care in Littleton, Colorado, hosted a lively 90th birthday celebration, complete with authentic Polish folk dancers, to honor Olga and her amazing story. It is a story of courage and perseverance in the face of almost insurmountable hardships encountered living and working in Warsaw in the middle of World War II.
During a recent interview with The Denver Post, Danusia described Olga as a vibrant, headstrong young woman. “Olga actually fibbed about her age to become a street medic in the Polish Scouts at age 17,” Danusia told reporters. Then, as a medic, Olga found herself right in the middle of the action, providing aid to wounded comrades.
Olga’s father, publisher of an anti-Nazi newspaper, along with her sister, were killed early on as Nazi troops proceeded to invade and brutally ravage Warsaw and its citizens. Yet Olga managed to survive. Sustaining bullet wounds during the 1944 Warsaw Uprising, she was forced to walk for 18 miles to an outlying town to work in a warehouse. From there, Olga was sent to a woman’s camp where she continued to experience brutal treatment in the hands of the Nazis.
Yet, against all odds, Olga managed to press on. Her reward was an eventual escape to the United States, where she married Leopold Lorentz, settled down and had three children, including Danusia.
Danusia, along with Highline Place Community Relations Director, Jodi Cornman, organized the celebration, which included dancers in traditional Polish attire, Polish flags and plenty of great Polish music. Olga smiled throughout the performance, as did her fellow residents, enjoying the lively and colorful display.
As Renee Paul, a family friend told the Denver Post, “She saw horrific, horrific things. I asked her once, ‘How do you ever get over it?’ And, she says, ‘You don’t. It doesn’t go away. It never stops hurting. You just put it aside.’ She’s a strong lady.”
At Anthem Memory Care communities, such as Highline Place, we are deeply moved by the personal stories of our residents. Everyone has a story that is unique to them and to their family. And each deserves to be respected, cherished and celebrated.
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Are you caring for a loved one who lives far away from you? Even if it's only an hour's drive away, when there is a problem, every issue becomes magnified. And, when you can’t be there, anxiety and guilt are bound to set in.
Long distance caregiving presents special challenges. But there are things you can do to gain greater control, while better safeguarding your loved one. Here are some tips to help put you in a stronger position to provide loving care, even thousands of miles away.
Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world, in which we can just pick up and move our lives closer to those we love. And long distance caregiving isn’t easy. But there are things you can do now to help bridge the physical distance. Keeping information close at hand, developing relationships with local people you trust, and making use of technology will help give you a better sense of control. You will feel healthier, emotionally, and your loved one will benefit as well.
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When a loved one has Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, it’s often assumed that he or she has no recollection of any past experiences. That is not always the case, however. Given the right set of circumstances, sometimes the things an individual used to enjoy doing can come bouncing back to the surface; and often with greater clarity than you might think.
Harriet remembered making her tortillas. That was just the beginning.
Such was the case at Chelsea Place, an Anthem Memory Care community in Aurora, Colorado. As Jenni Dill, Life Engagement Director, tells it, one of their residents, Harriet Histia, one day remarked how much she missed making her tortillas. A simple statement, but one which generated quite a bit of excitement from the staff. Upon checking in with Harriet’s daughter, they confirmed that, indeed, Harriet had been quite skilled at hand-made tortillas back in the day. Who knew?
“She makes these amazing tortillas from scratch that she made very morning before she came to us,” says Jenni. “So, instead of doing something generic to keep her active, we invited her daughter for a cooking demonstration.”
And from there on in, it was Harriet’s moment to shine. She got up and out of her wheelchair to measure and pour her dough, cranking out over 100 tortillas for all to enjoy. And it was more than just fun for Harriet. “From a therapy perspective, she stood much longer than she would in a regular session,” remarked Jenni Dill.
Alzheimer’s and dementia residents can benefit from re-visiting past skills and talents.
Identifying the past skills or hobbies of an individual with dementia is an important part of keeping them connected to themselves and to their families. This historical and personal “framing” is routine at Anthem Memory Care communities, as staff members continue to seek ways to reconnect residents with their personal history and with those who are part of it. And, when it happens, everyone benefits. That’s because this often results in unique hands-on experiences for all residents, usually led by the residents themselves.
If you have a loved one struggling with a dementia, such as Alzheimer’s, you know how disheartening it is to witness their ongoing inability to remember things. Yet, as hard as it is, try to remain as positive and encouraging as possible. One never knows when a random word or an image might unlock an old memory from beneath the surface and bring a special moment back to life… for both of you.
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“Anger is an emotional response to a grievance, real or imaginary, in the past, present or future. The pain of anger is very real. If we don’t know how to relieve it the right way, we will react to it in ways that make things worse instead of better.” - Mitchell Messer, “Pressure Points — Alzheimer’s and Anger”
Caregiver anger is both real and justified.
If you are caring for an individual with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia, anger is a constant companion. You become angry when your mom or dad lashes out at you, either verbally or physically. You become angry when he or she ignores you or doesn’t remember something you said an hour ago. And, sometimes, the source of your anger is hard to define. For it may come wrapped in a blanket of hurt, despair and even fear.
First, take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Your anger is real and justified. You are dealing with issues that lie outside the bounds of normal day to day concerns. And you are not a trained nurse or therapist.
Accept your anger and find ways to release it.
Here are some tips for learning how to deal with caregiver anger and how to keep a steady grip on your own emotional health in the process.
You can’t go it alone. Let others help.
The most important thing is not to keep your anger bottled up inside. Seek out those who can help you channel your caregiver anger in a way that helps you maintain your emotional and physical health. And, when family and close friends offer to help out, let them! Not only will this relieve some of your stress, you will be opening an important channel for ongoing help and support.
Anthem Memory Care communities provide monthly dementia support groups as well as respite “short-term” care for your loved one, when you need a break or need to take care of personal business. Let us know how we can help.
Every Wednesday, at Highline Place Memory Care in Littleton, Colorado, a group of school children visit from nearby Saddle Ranch Elementary School. Together with the residents, they work on crafts while they share lots of smiles and laughter. Isn’t it amazing how a child can bring a smile to a senior’s face, often when no one else can?
Clearly, these visits bring benefits for both young and old. A recent article, written by Esther Heerema, MSW, for verywell.com, cites ongoing studies that connect social interaction between adults with Alzheimer’s disease and children to positive results.
Here are three of their findings we found interesting:
The benefits are clear to everyone who has ever witnessed these get-togethers. That’s why our Anthem Memory Care communities, such as Highline Place, provide ample opportunities for residents to interact with school children. In many cases, long lasting friendships are formed between the residents and the children. In fact, several of our communities report that children continue to visit their resident “friends” even after they leave elementary school.
And, these benefits are not lost on the families of residents, who regularly report hearing the sound of children and laughter when they pass through the lobby doors. By all accounts, the residents look forward to the visits as much as the children do.
If you have a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, make sure you take advantage of every opportunity to bring younger family members, friends and neighborhood children in to visit on a regular basis. You will find, as we do, the benefits are well worth the effort.
You may also like to find out more about Anthem’s Respite Care programs, which provide short-term stays, ranging from a week to a month, for your loved one at one of our communities. Here they can experience, first hand, plenty of smiles and laughter from the school children who come to visit.
For some, the change is gradual. For others, it seems to happen overnight. Yet, either way, you find yourself in unchartered territory. Your mom or dad now turns to you for decisions he or she used to make routinely. They rely upon you to help them walk, bathe, dress and eat. Your roles are reversing. And it’s an unfamiliar, uncomfortable place to be.
For adult children of individuals with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, the transition can be even more daunting, as a loved one’s memory fails and confusion sets in.
It’s a role none of us would chose for ourselves. Yet it’s an inevitable one for so many of us. You are now caregiver for your parent. While you may have already made the transition outwardly, it’s time to make the transition emotionally. Keeping the following thoughts in mind as you go forward, will make it easier; for both of you.
Accept your new reality. It is normal to resist this new relationship. And normal to feed your own denial. Yet the sooner you accept the fact that your parent needs your help, the easier it will be to provide it for them. This transition requires you to stretch the boundaries of your comfort zone. So accept that there will be discomfort. You will make mistakes, so don’t expect perfection; from either of you. This is one of the most challenging transitions we, as childen, have to make. Lower the bar a bit.
Think “team”, not “parent-child”. Keep in mind that your parent doesn’t want his or her new role any more than you do. Asking for your help stretches their comfort zone as well as yours. Tell yourself and your parent that you are “both in this together”. Resist the impulse to treat your parent as a child, especially when they are unable to complete a simple task or remember something. As a team, you can support one another. And, you will begin forming a new relationship; one that is less encumbered by your past roles.
Seek humor, wherever you can find it. What did you used to do that made you both laugh? There may be memories you can still reach together. Try to infuse your days with opportunities to share laughter. And, yes, humor can be found even when things go wrong. But you have to work at finding it.
Accept help. No one can provide quality caregiving without help. When family and friends offer to help, accept their help. Develop a support network. People feel good about helping. Let them. Consider a short term, respite stay at a local memory care community. That will give both you and your parent a change of pace and some time to re-charge.
Above all, talk to your parent. Even if he or she has a hard time understanding. Tell them, “I know how hard this for you. It’s hard for me too. I’ll make mistakes along the way. I won’t be perfect. But I’ll always try to do what is best for you.”
Remember that, by reassuring your parent, you are reassuring yourself.